What to do with the marriage hardware (aka the rings)

One of the ladies smiled and with a slightly rebellious look in her eye, held up her newly naked left hand saying “look, hardware removal”.

Hardware? Like a piece of a computer? With further reflection, hardware is a spot on description of those rings. Perhaps it’s a stretch to compare a 2 carat, round cut, VVS1, G color grade diamond ring to a 24-inch, 1920-by-1200 resolution, widescreen computer monitor. But … Have you ever tried to get rid of them? It’s not that easy. How do you “properly” dispose of them (in a way that’s good for the environment, your psychological environment that is). Re-purpose, re-cycle or donate?

The law says that as long as you went through with the marriage you are entitled to keep the engagement ring (interpreted from divorcesource.com). But the question remains, how do I get rid of it?

Re-Purposing
People say you can always “make it into a necklace or pin”. That just wasn’t in the cards for me. It didn’t matter that the stone would be in a different setting or displayed on a different part of my body. The fact of the matter was that that stone would be looking back at me in the mirror every time I wore it. Pretty girl, great outfit, and blammo that stone staring back at me, reminding me of my failed marriage and the hopes and dreams that died along with it. No way was I going to put myself through that.

Donating
Or in my case, returning it to my ex. Yes, women do do this! And we bear the burden of constantly being asked “why would you do that?” with some more powerful expletives added depending on the askers level of shock and awe. It was a family stone. Could it have been sold? Sure. Would the extra cash have been handy? Yes. Would the physical dollars have been equal to the sentimental value of the stone to his family? No way. Bottom line, it meant more to them than it did to me, so back it went.

Recycle for cash
Internet marketplaces hadn’t come to be, so I got my emotions in check and took the hardware to a pawn shop. Not one of those dirty places littered with electric guitars and amps from struggling artists needing to pay the rent. It was in a good zip code, and was more like a consignment shop with gently used clothing, furniture, home accessories and jewelry. Timidly telling the lady I had two rings I wanted to sell began my enlightenment process. The two most symbolic pieces from my marriage, even with the priest’s blessing, had no value. Even with diamonds and a luxury brand name. Zero dollars. The engraving, the investment of time we had made in choosing the right words, eliminated any cash value for the precious metal and stones.

If only ebay, craigslist or cash4gold had been around for “proper” disposal. There are over 70,000 diamonds listed on ebay of which 1800 are described as “used”. It makes me wonder, are diamonds like a Christmas fruitcake? Only a few in the world and passed around?

What ultimately happened to those two rings? I gave them to someone who is extremely close to me. The mojo needed to be extracted, so it didn’t matter what she did with them. To this day, it’s unclear where the remaining hardware ended up.

Guys and gals we want to know what you did with your marriage hardware, so comment or email us at djv@divorcesalon.com.