How can you not laugh? The state with “irreconcilable differences” as a legal reason for divorce hosts a demonstration to ban divorce. How two faced. California enacted America’s first no-fault divorce law, and in order to be the first again, a ballot is in the works to make divorce illegal. Protecting marriage? More like a covert action by the pharmaceutical companies to increase sales of Valium, Xanax etc ….
As if the possible illegality of divorce isn’t enough, some proponents support making the divorce ban retroactive. As in “Congratulations! You are married to him/her ... again”.
It's completely and totally unimaginable for the me of today to re-join the marriage of my past. It couldn’t work. Today’s me would not even be attracted to that old life.
But let’s play with this. Suppose there was some perverse reversal of the TV show "FlashForward" where instead of everyone getting a glimpse of their own future they got to look at themselves in the past. Where would you be in a FlashBackward vs. where you are today?
What would most likely be in my FlashBackward?
- Still running and gasping for air on the Keeping up with the Jones’ treadmill
- Stuffing my needs, wants and dreams into a tiny locked box in order to support his
- At least 10 additional pounds
- Having panic filled mornings plagued with “how are the bills for his must have watch, car, wine etc … going to get paid?”
- Daily “Are you there vodka?” shout outs
It’s interesting that writing this is occurring around Thanksgiving. Thank you universe for my FlashBackward not happening. How bizarre that I am grateful for my divorce? Great results came out of my most difficult circumstances: freedom, discipline, clarity, friendship, love, calm, power, peace, understanding, happiness, respect …. The list of positives could go on and on.
Your divorce may seem like a dark and never ending tunnel, but there is a light at the end, and it's bright!
So tell us … How would your FlashBackward look in contrast to today?
djv
djv@divorcesalon.com
6 comments:
I fear that my life would be far simpler for I am sure that I'd be in prison for murdering that witch.
Orange jumpsuits look horrendous on everyone! Fear of the simplicity that comes with incarceration is a good thing.
DS-
Well, my state has pinstripes, not so bad!
I am thankfully a very different person, with very different offerings to and wants from a spouse. Besides that, the funny intangible thing called trust, once broken is like putting the proverbial milk back in the glass: don't even try, and neither mom nor the legislature can make it right. Best to grieve and get it over with.
Outlawing divorces in Califonia to preserve the concept of marriage???? Wow. I dont get the logic as no one wld ever get married in the first place if the only way out was a one way trip to Saint Peter so the concept would be extinct in one generation, but hey, I'm all for it. They could finally balance the budget. State expenditures would collapse as half the population, the unproducing population, would either flee the state or be killed off. The whole divorce industry would die too, plus govt workers could be reduced as no need to keep track all that paper! Also, no one in their right mind would move there if married, or get married there so the land of milk and honey becomes all single people! Not so bad.
Although not in the spirit of the posting, with a retroactive divorce ban would my attorney fees, therapist bills and the mounds of other expenses be reimbursed? The words blood and stone come to mind. Isn’t the unemployment rate high enough today without forcing CA family law attorneys and therapists to take down their shingles or “transition”? Would the government workers and lawyers actually be overwhelmed by a new wave of divorce ban pain and suffering lawsuits? djv
This is hilarious! And, my mind is doing flips. I'm torn between wanting a do-over and no way in hell would I ever go back there!
I would find it delightful for attorneys to have to refund fees. The thought of that pleases me immensely.
It wouldn't be worth the aggravation of living with the ex again though. I fear I would end up serving time with Anon.
I have to admit, that, in my opinion some aspects of divorce laws need to be changes but this would be going a wee bit over-board.
Cathy
divorcedwomenonline.com
Hi Cathy,
Thanks for the comment.
We’re smelling another unintended consequence of a retroactive divorce ban …. More overcrowding to the already overcrowded CA prison system.
djv
P.S. We love your site!
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